Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Randomize
