Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
