Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Randomize
