She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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