It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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