Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
