yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
