I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
