she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
