Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Randomize
