Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
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