why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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