I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
