Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
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