it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
