My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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