Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Girls should come with a carfax report
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
how drunk are you?
Several
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
