she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize