Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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