1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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