You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Randomize
