you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
NoShamevember. You game?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Randomize
