They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
