You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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