maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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