God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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