i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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