i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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