After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
