Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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