I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize