is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
