The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
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