just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize