goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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