it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize