haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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