therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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