If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize