if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
