If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
