I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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