p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Randomize