Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
