I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
