She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
