Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
