So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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