So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
