Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
