I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
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