Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
