so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
