Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
