I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
