Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
