ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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