you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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