There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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